We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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