Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
