i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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