No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize