Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
