i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What a dumb baby whore.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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