Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize