shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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