porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
