You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
