Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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