When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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