i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
