have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize