She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
