I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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