Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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