He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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