Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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