I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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