I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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