You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
