ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
