When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
