you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
