I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
