so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'