Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
