hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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