Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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