if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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