I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
