white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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