so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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