i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
