we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize