If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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