I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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