Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
