sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
