ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
