he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
