And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
