was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
