No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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