so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
