2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
