how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
