I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
