I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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