So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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