how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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