I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
