lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
