Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize