loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
