i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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