dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
