How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
