we're blogging at a bar
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
