Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
