I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
