i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
