So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
