And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
