I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
