brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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