Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There are leaves in my underwear?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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