So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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